Do you dream about a place that exists only in your sleep? Do you return to it?
I have dreamscapes that my brain is eager to place me in, as though I were a stage actor and my brain were the audience. The first time I noticed this happening was when I dreamt of the lake, and the stone base of an old pier. When the water was low, you could walk to it; if you stood on the stone blocks while the water came in, you would drown. It was sun-bleached and dangerous when explored at low tide, or wind-whipped and covered by whitecaps when the sky above was grey, and I viewed it from the shore. The next few times I dreamt of that place I was trying to reach it, but the water was coming in and other dramas distracted me–so that by the end of the dream, I knew it was too late.
“I’ve missed my chance,” I said angrily to whatever dream-stranger was thwarting me at the time. “I’ll never get there now.”
More recently my brain has been eager to drop my in different portions of a vast and sprawling cemetery, which isn’t Beechwood or St. Patrick’s or any other cemetery I’ve spent considerable time in, though sometimes it will play at the pretence for a minute by putting the Beechwood “shop” in the corner of my vision, or two mowers horsing around on a hill, their machines abandoned. I find this particularly frustrating, not only because I get the distinct impression that someone is trying to fool me into thinking that this is the same place I loved and worked in, but moreover because everything else is so obviously alien; the monuments are not monuments I ever planted flowers beneath. None of the stones are mine, which is maybe why I always feel so unsettled here: these stones don’t love me back.
I’m nearly always uneasy in dreams. According to pseudo-psychology recurring dreams are a sign of recurring anxieties or behaviours, and the prevalence of water on my subconscious is supposedly symbolic of preoccupation with situations I can’t control (a pattern that’s been around since I was a kid, since I’ve always seen ponds and lakes where none existed, even when I was awake).
Where do you go in your dreams?